Garcia Resort & Spa

Michael Bates

Well, what a start! We walked into the hotel lobby and were immediately hit by that “abandoned office block” aesthetic. Minimalist? Sure, if by minimalist you mean empty and sad. The staff looked like extras in a zombie movie, trudging through their shifts waiting for someone to end the season (or their suffering). We arrived during October half-term, otherwise known as “the week everyone here stops caring.” Our first room came with a complimentary dead-drain aroma, Eau de Sewage, very exclusive and a nightly soundtrack courtesy of the entertainment echoing down the corridor until 11:30 p.m. Who needs sleep when you’ve got muffled karaoke? Top tip: Bring earplugs. Or industrial noise-cancelling headphones. Or maybe just don’t come. The corridors have no fire doors, meaning sound travels freely along with your will to live. And the rooms? Oh, they’re bright! Who needs blackout curtains when you can be serenaded to sleep by the glow of the hallway light streaming into your eyes? After a hostage-worthy negotiation with reception, we got moved to another room, far from the main building, which was ideal since that’s where the “fun” happens. The bathroom, however, could have starred in The Mold Identity. The shower thoughtfully floods the floor, so every morning begins with a quick mop-up using all your towels. Who doesn’t love a bit of cardio before breakfast? Speaking of cardio, the gym is a museum exhibit titled Fitness Equipment Through the Ages. Everything looks like it last saw action in 2009. The treadmill belts are looser than the hotel’s definition of “five-star,” and one mirror’s been smashed presumably by the last guest who got a good look at themselves mid-stay. The pools look lovely until you get in and realise it’s basically an Arctic plunge. Great if you’re a penguin. The pool bar is the saving grace; the staff there actually seem to like people, and they pour strong drinks which you’ll need. All-inclusive? Technically, yes. But instead of Coke or Fanta, you get Rola Cola and Banta nostalgic for anyone whose mum used a SodaStream in the ’90s. As for the gin and tonic — let’s just say it’s mostly gin, barely tonic, and tastes like it could fuel a small aircraft. The “a la carte” restaurant was flooded and “closed for the season.” So was the steam room. And apparently, the concept of air conditioning too, because 26°C “isn’t hot.” Reception promised to “speak to management” and get back to us. Still waiting. Might still be waiting next season. If you’re reading this thinking, “Oh, it’s just one grumpy guest,” you’re half right. I am grumpy, but only because this five-star resort turned out to be a two-star in disguise. Summary: If you’re after the full “budget holiday dressed as luxury” experience mould, mystery smells, and musical corridors included, this is your spot. Otherwise, do yourself a favour and go literally anywhere else.

Marin Yankov

We stayed at Garcia Hotel between August 20-23 with my family. The rooms were spacious and ideal for families. The bathroom was a bit old, but still acceptable in terms of comfort. The staff were very attentive, especially Chef Murat, who was very kind and caring towards the guests. Although the food variety was not huge, the price-quality-performance balance was quite satisfying. Overall, we were pleased with the hospitality and had a pleasant holiday experience.

Negin F.

The worst resort experience. Here are the details as to why: 1. They have only 1 beach shuttle for their entire guests and that 1 shuttle leaves at 1030am and comes back at 4pm. The rest of the time you need to take a taxi. Which would be fine, although annoying, but due to summer traffic taxis take 45 mintues to one hour to show up, if at all. I told the hotel staff this and told them to get more shuttles but they said it is summer and this is it and maybe they might add one more shuttle if the hotel manager approves. This has not happened. So basically you are a prisoner in the resort from 1030am to 6pm when the traffic dies down. 2. The bathrooms are moldy and smelly. I have a video but can't upload here. They changed my room and still the second room, although better, still has mold. This is supposed to be a 5 start hotel, but it is at best a 3 star. 3. The food is bland and not great. The food at the pool bar is awful! 4. At 5pm, the pool ran out of towels, and it closes at 7pm! Also the maid service does not come daily unless you call twice and ask for it. Lastly, the worst of all, and most dangerous is that the balcony does not have standard railings, so my toddler, almost 2 and weighing 28 pounds, was able to squeeze through the railing and go on the other side (which is next to the pool!). It was so scary, but luckily I was watching and caught him in time but he was still on the other side of the railing! So watch out if you have toddlers or kids who can not swim. Avoid this place and get a hotel near the beach with better reviews.

Lara Dean

If only the Garcia Resort & Spa lived up to its name. On paper, it’s a five-star getaway in beautiful Dikmen, Turkey. In reality… it’s more like a budget hostel wearing a sparkly dress. Let’s start with the room — or as I like to call it, “The Scene of the Crime.” The bathroom smelled like something had crawled in, retired, and died. The grout had given up years ago, the shower head was encrusted with limescale, and we were given one single duvet for a king-size bed. Romantic? Only if you enjoy duvet tug-of-war. We asked for a deep clean (since we’d already unpacked) and were told it was done. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. The only thing “deep” about that clean was the level of imagination involved. The shower had simply been turned on to make it look like someone cared. Credit where it’s due — the lady at reception was lovely and moved us to a better room with a great view. Sadly, the “better” room still had a bathroom that looked like it hadn’t seen a proper scrub since 2010. But at least it didn’t smell like despair. Interestingly, every guest we spoke to had also changed rooms at some point during their stay. Apparently, it’s a regular occurrence and how management aren’t aware or acting on this is beyond me. It’s clearly a serious issue that needs urgent attention. The food? Let’s just say I’ve had more exciting meals at motorway service stations. Lukewarm, repetitive, and presented with all the enthusiasm of a Monday morning. And yes, we were given paper cups — at a 5-star resort! Premier Inn gives china, Garcia gives cardboard. The spa looked promising until we realised the paint was falling off the walls, the jacuzzi was colder than my enthusiasm by day three, and the “relaxation area” felt more like a damp cellar. Two days of storms meant we could’ve used a cozy indoor escape, but no such luck. Cleanliness was an ongoing battle. On day one, cats had pooed on the staircase, and by the last day, even the communal toilets by the pool were filthy. Strangely, on the final day, a lady appeared with a clipboard asking guests for their opinions. I assume she was checking hotel standards. I was honest (very honest), and suddenly there was a flurry of cleaning! The pool toilets got a quick spruce-up, and when we returned to our room later that day, we could actually smell cleaning products for the first time all week. Funny that. Housekeeping overall was hit and miss, mostly miss! We often had to chase for towels, toilet roll, and even basic tidying. For a 5-star, I expected housekeeping, not hide-and-seek. To end on a positive: the staff were mostly wonderful, especially the young guy from the entertainment team and Oscar from the spa. They really did try to make the best of a tough situation. We also met a lovely couple who became friends for life, so the company was 5-star, even if the hotel wasn’t. In summary: beautiful views, kind staff, but a property that’s been left to rot. With some paint, deep cleaning, and an actual chef, this place could shine. For now, I wouldn’t recommend it unless you enjoy adventure holidays… in hygiene.

Sanna

I know some people don’t trust reviews but for the love of god find yourself another hotel. This one is only good for taking a couple photos of the view and maybe jump in the pool. The bathroom has stains, black gunk and chipped tiles; the duvet has a hole in it and the floor in the room was sticky. The food is inedible and only the water out of the drinks is free - all the others charge, except for breakfast where tea and coffee are included. Overall cleanliness is very poor, there are also many flies at this location and they leave vicious bites. However, the staff member who led us to our room was nice and answered our questions.